Hello adult! Remember when you couldn’t wait to become one? Well, here you are.
Making friends used to be so much easier when you were much younger. All you had to do was walk up to someone and ask them to be your friend. Chances are you were popular among your peers, even as an introvert. You were so busy trying to manage all your friends that you’d be rich if you were paid for your friend-making passion.
From the assembly, you had to line up with some and make jest of the headmistress. In class, you had your seat partner who you shared stories about Barbie or the Power Rangers with. Then you had break time. Your laughter while skipping from one friend to the other would have been considered demented if it rang any louder. You were carefree at the time.
It was an easy process when all you cared about was fun. Now, you have to deal with financial problems, relationships, tax payments and when Game of Thrones Season 8 would be out. Priorities have suddenly taken a turn for the ‘unfun’. Now, you have to get back to the basics of how to make friends. Don’t worry, it’s as easy as the way you interact with those social media followers, only you have to make ‘actual’ friends this time.
Friends are forever. Everything else would go, and even if social media crashes, money finishes, a relationship fails or you grow old, a true friend will always be there.
How do you make friends as an adult when it’s just so awkward, and you feel too old to ask, ‘Can you be my friend?’ Here’s how:
1. Reconnect with old friends
Sometimes, the best way to make friends is to reconnect with old ones. This is relevant if you find it difficult to talk to people. Reasons for this could be because you fear they wouldn’t like you, you might find them toxic or you would be a bad friend. You can rekindle old relationships because they already know all there is to know about your past. You would then need to reconnect and familiarise yourself with what’s new in your lives. By doing this, you would have a lot to talk about, both past and present. Also, you can trace such friends through Facebook or LinkedIn. Don’t be afraid to reach out because they already know you. Write down five names of friends you had in your past from primary school down to after University and say hi.
2. Visit your neighbours
Your friend for life could just be a house away. You can take a casual walk to your neighbour’s house and borrow sugar or a bowl from them. Then you can attempt to return it again. Get into some casual banters about the latest happenings around your neighbourhood or the country. There will always be something to talk about. Through this, you can find out if you have something in common. This is one good way of making friends.
3. Set a date with virtual friends
Social media is a good place to make friends, but you can also make enemies online so be careful. This is why you need to transfer your interactions from the virtual world to real life, in a public place. First, you need to be certain you have something in common with that person. It’s actually very easy to find friends in that category on social media. Next, plan a film date with that friend, or do something you both enjoy.
4. Go to your local joints
Chances are that there are people just like you looking for friends too. You can take casual trips to the nearest restaurant, library, book store or club. Just hang around and don’t be afraid to say hi to someone close to you. You never know!
How to maintain friendships
It’s true you can make friends in just about any place, but keeping them isn’t easy. Your schedule can make keeping friends harder than you think. Here are some ways to maintain your friendship:
- Listen, seek similarity and show interest in the friendship.
- Be vulnerable by opening up a bit.
- Don’t be a stranger and check in every two weeks, minimum. You don’t want to put too much pressure initially.