Without realising it, a whole lot of persons have a hard time saying no to requests.
A friend is coming over to spend the night/weekend but you’re not open to the idea as you’d like to have your space to yourself. However, how do you say no? You either cave because you don’t want to seem like the bad person, or you give a lukewarm excuse that actually is a lie or, you can just say no. Did you catch your breath at the thought of saying a plain and emphatic no? You’re also probably wondering how you can flatly refuse people’s requests without seeming like an unhelpful person.
Often times, people do not want to say no because they don’t want to aggressors as saying no may come off as aggressive. Also, they might start feeling bad and even fear they will no longer be liked because they’ve turned down a person.
Because of this, they tend to take the less confrontational path to avoid conflict and when they do decline, they do it with an excuse. They go ” I’m sorry I wish I could help but I’m busy” or ” I wish I could give you that money but it’s not month’s end yet”. But the pitfall there is, this gives the person a window to keep asking. They may say “so when will you be free” or ” I’ll call you at the end of the month then”.
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So you see, it never stops until you stop it. Here are some tips that will help.
Just say it
Really, say no. Don’t beat around the bush or meander. You can add an explanation as to why you’re refusing if you wish to. However you don’t owe anyone an explanation and the less said, the better.
Be polite yet assertive
You can come from a place of power to say “I can’t right now but if anything changes I’ll let you know”. This means you’ve both the knife and the yam. It will save you from unnecessary pestering.
Flip the script
This works very well in a work environment. Let’s say your manager is asking you to take up more tasks than you can handle. What you can do is ask for an extension to the delivery date and ask which one they’ll like to prioritize. This way, it becomes evident that they’re actually asking more than you can give.
If you’ve turned down a request, don’t recant. A person who’s your friend and value your friendship will understand why you said no and your relationship with them will not be threatened. If it is, then they were probably not truly your friend so, no loss.
It’s okay to put yourself first
Sometimes, you’ve to remember to be selfish and put yourself first. Placing other people’s needs before yours will have you stretched thin and you’ll realise you’ve become less productive and even, unhappy.
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