Most people want the happily ever after. Therefore, they are willing to turn a blind eye to any warning signs that reveal their relationship is unhealthy. In some cases, these signs smell ‘trouble’ and are written in ‘bold letters’. Unhealthy relationships are emotionally, mentally and physically stressful. Unfortunately, there are many people who fail to simply walk up because ‘love defiles all sense of reasoning’.
It’s not unusual for people to end up in toxic relationships that cause damage, drains and depletes them. However, it is possible for people to pick up the courage to walk away from one, howbeit uneasy.
Unhealthy relationships lead to many cases of domestic violence and abuse in relationships. Hence, it’s as a result of this that many advocates speak on the ills of unhealthy relationships and its effects.
While it’s true that some cases may be too late, some people have a chance at redemption. Fortunately, taking measures to walk out of any toxic relationship can help you begin your journey to freedom. Hence, you can move on with your life with just a choice.
It is paramount that you avoid any chances of getting lured into an unhealthy relationship. While there aren’t signs written on people’s foreheads that say, ‘I am toxic”, there are signs you can be on the lookout for. You can achieve this by identifying the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship through their words, character or behaviour.
Warning signs that give away unhealthy relationships
1. Jealousy and insecurity
Usually, everyone wants that little bit of jealousy. It sort of proves that your partner loves you so much to get a little bit jealous. However, once that jealousy exceeds ‘a little’, then there’s a problem. It becomes problematic when everything you do gets questioned. When your partner becomes overly possessive of you, it’s a warning sign. Your social media handle gets stalked, and your partner constantly wants to know with whom and where you’ll be. This proves that your partner lacks confidence in you and the relationship.
As Katie Hood, the CEO of the One Love Foundation, puts it, “Jealousy is a part of any human relationship, but extreme jealousy is different. There’s a threatening, desperate and angry edge to it.”
2. Physical or verbal abuse
Maybe you’re one to walk away when anyone attempts to raise a hand to hit you, but there are many who get glued with fear and uncertainty. It all begins from verbal abuse when your partner undermines you and anything you say. This is irrespective of where and who you’re with. Eventually, you soon begin to feel small and unworthy as the verbal words eat you up emotionally. When you notice your partner is one to say abusive words carelessly, or raise a hand at slight provocation, please walk away.
Relationship expert Sabrina Alexis says,
“There is a huge difference between a partner who can point out your flaws in a loving way, a way that encourages you to grow, and a partner who does it from a place of contempt.”
3. Things get too intense too fast
So, you just met and your partner is professing his love. In some cases, the issue could be ‘you don’t call enough’ or ‘you didn’t reply to my text fast’. These are signs that things are getting too intense too soon. Things are moving too quickly and could be suffocating. In such a relationship, there would be a lot of drama, and you would eventually need a break.
“It’s not how a relationship starts that matters,” Hood says. “It’s how it evolves. A few markers of intensity are when a partner begins incessantly calling, texting or showing up places.”
Try to take your time to evaluate the situation before jumping the gun if you’re one to get ‘head over heels’ and ‘possessive’.
4. Breakup and makeup
Sometimes, people like to believe that when you break up, the make-up s*x is hotter. Okay, so there might be some truth there, but what happens after that. You get back to the problems you left behind, ignore it for a while, then it comes falling down on you again. What happens next? Another breakup? And then a makeup after the apologies have been said and done?
Do you see a problem here? Messing with your emotions will soon tell on you as it could lead to stress. Stress, in turn, could lead to other dangerous health issues that really stress the point of ‘unhealthy’ relationships.
5. Lack of communication
A relationship is built on trust. One of the things you build your trust on is communication. When there’s a flaw in this, then there’s a problem. The reason this makes the last warning sign is that it can be worked on.
Seeking the help of a relationship counsellor could help you know if it’s a case of ‘walk away’ or ‘come for more consultations’. There is always a silver lining. Some are faint and need the help of an expert, whereas others just need an umbrella to block it all away.
Rather than go through the tide of being emotionally or physically bruised, you can work on getting your own groove. Being single is not the end of the world as you most certainly would find someone perfect for you. Enjoy a healthy relationship that would last a lifetime by making the right choice of a partner. It’s not easy though, but possible. So, we wish you the very best.