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Review: “Next 365 Days” Is More S*x No Direction

The follow-up to “365 Days,” “Next 365 Days,” is available on Netflix, and “365 Days: This Day” isn’t what viewers were hoping for.

It’s tedious, stilted, and full of unconvincing, frictionless s*x scenes. Barbara Biaows and Tomasz Mandes, who also directed the first two films in this icky trilogy of supposedly erotic supposedly thrillers, directed it ineptly.

Laura (Anna-Maria Sieklucka), whose marriage to Sicilian gangster Massimo (Michele Morrone) is in trouble, start fantasizing about having s*x with Nacho (Simone Susinna), her husband’s former gardener, with whom she also spent significant portions of the second movie.

Review: "Next 365 Days" Is More S*x No Direction
Poster of “Next 365 Days,”

When Laura reconnects with Nacho during a trip to Portugal he’s a star surfer now, apparently, Nacho declares his eternal love for her. Should she leave Massimo for Nacho, or give her marriage one last shot?

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Given that Massimo’s relationship with Laura started when he kidnapped her and gave her a year to fall in love with him, this should be a fairly straightforward choice.

For the first two-thirds of the film, the directors provide about one s*x scene every ten minutes, but they seem oddly cautious when it comes to showing drug use. Before Massimo can actually snort the cocaine, the camera cuts away as he is lavished with it. It’s probably best not to ask why, as is the case with so many other aspects of this confusing franchise.

In all honesty, this movie is so awful that it elevates the “50 Shades of Grey” trilogy to the level of fine art.

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Charis Ebiaghian

A creative writer ready to dish out juicy stories as they drop. When she is not writing, she is probably thinking of what to write next