Fear Of Commitment Sucks, And Here’s How To Get Out Of Yours
For a number of reasons, you could be afraid of commitment. The common reasons are those that are voiced out before therapists or even close friends.
They could be as a result of past experiences or just a natural instinct not to be tied down. Also, it could be related to a desire to live wild and free after convincing yourself that it’s an adventure. The media and technology have deceived many into believing this.
You hop from bed to bed, not even remembering your s****l partner’s name since you’ll never see them again. While you may try to deny it, there’s more to your actions than the thrill of it. You may feel stuck, but yet that word ‘commitment’ is one that brings you fear, so you continue what you’re up to. Still, don’t let that commitment phobia tie you down.
We live in a society where one-night-stands have become the norm. Most people want a “hello, bang and goodbye” relationship with no strings attached. This may seem like the new cool until the loneliness begins to tell on you.
Although you may try to ignore it, no man is an island, and we all desire company. It could be from friends, but in this context, it’s relationship related. What makes you withdraw from relationships and the idea of committing to one?
Here are some reasons we believe could be the cause.
Why you fear commitment, and how to get out of yours
1. You may just be very vulnerable
The fear of completely trusting and dedicating all you’ve got to that one person could be a scary thought. You may be afraid of actually being vulnerable and sharing your deepest, darkest secrets. Opening yourself up to someone requires you trusting them enough and, if you can’t, then you need to work on building your trust first.
Humans generally have a tendency to care about themselves alone and their well-being. They believe they alone know themselves well enough to see to their welfare. So, when someone comes along, willing to be in that person’s life, they fear the thought of it. They simply don’t want to get their emotions trampled upon. But the reality is if you don’t get it trampled upon you would never know all the tricks for repairing it.
If you think about it, you can’t succeed if you don’t learn of at least a few ways you can fail. Then you can avoid those ways of failure and aim for gold. Honestly, everyone gets hurt, but you just need to also learn how to fight your way out of the rut and to the top. Guard your heart since it’s precious, but don’t be too afraid to take that leap once in a while. You’re well capable of getting mended again.
2. Are you realistic about your expectations?
Some people live in a world of illusion. They expect so much from humans and get disappointed over and over again. If your picture of the perfect one for you is similar to the happily ever after stories you read or watch, then you need to wake up. Everyone needs a good wake-up call at some point in their life because the cloud is a nice place to live but not for too long. You need to get off it at some point. The media and the public’s alluded perception of life may be your cloud. Once you realise perfection is subjective, you won’t seek for it until you redefine yours in a more realistic way.
3. Excuses and more excuses
You may fall into this category of excuse makers if you’re still denying the fact that you’re commitment phobic. If everything else says yes, including your heart, but your head tells you “you’re too young”, or “he’s too short”, then you’re definitely here. Sometimes, you use your busy schedule as an excuse to stay locked up. Don’t make excuses that would keep you away from happiness. Stop making excuses that would make you even more lonely. As long as you feel it’s right, go for it!
4. Time out!
Happiness is priceless, and you need to get yours. Therefore, if all else fails, you need to reach out to someone. There’s a root to every problem, and you need to find it for a solution to be reached. Seek out the advice of a professional life coach or a counsellor and talk it out. Take time out of everything stealing your time and discover why you’ve been running away from commitments. It may not be a day journey, but someday you would look back and be glad you’ve come out of your rut and found your bliss in being committed to something or someone finally!