Many newlyweds face a lot of pressure to have the best s*x life as soon as they start the journey of marriage. Sometimes friends and family think these newlyweds are “doing it” around the clock during the honeymoon.
Just because you’ve been having intercourse for years and feel like you’ve perfected every technique doesn’t mean your lovemaking will suddenly magnify a thousand times now that you’re married.
According to psychologist and author of “The Men on My Couch, Stories of S*x, Love, and Psychotherapy,” Dr. Brandy Engler, newlyweds should focus on a few key problem areas to ensure they keep their s*x life going.
Below are a few common problems almost all newlyweds experience when it comes to lovemaking and how to deal with them
1. Pressure
When you’re newly married, the pressure to make love all the time is heightened. It can be super annoying getting those winks and questions from friends and family alike:
“I’m sure the lovemaking is amazing!” “You guys must be all over each other!”
“We live in a culture that tells us we’re supposed to be super s*xual all the time but that’s not the reality for most couples. However, couples should consider shorter s*xual encounters during the week think 15 minutes and encounters that aren’t necessarily intercourse. Kissing, touching, oral s*x, and keeping the connections going.” Engler says.
Focus on intimacy and reminding each other how much you love yourselves on a daily basis. If you want to have more s*x, try things other than intercourse. It must not always end in penetration. Give your partner a sensual massage. Be together in ways that allow you to feel close.
2. Too Busy
Daily routines often don’t leave room for “under the sheet” moments. Most couples are sure to make room for work, exercise, or certain social activities, but refuse to think about making love as a scheduled activity.
While people desire spontaneous intercourse the kind that takes place on the kitchen floor or right after a hot shower; our lives don’t really allow for s*xual energy to brew because we tend to exhaust ourselves by the end of the day.
Don’t push intimacy to the back burner. Consider it as important as any other part of your daily life. It brings you closer together and strengthens your bond.
Also read:
– Five Reasons Why A Live-in Relationship Is Not A Bad Idea
– Double Dating: A Sweet Experience Or Playing With Fire?
– Relationships: Just How Long Should The Talking Stage Last?
Never stop flirting and being s*xy with each other. You may be married, but that doesn’t mean things need to get boring. “Think little flirtations, grabs, kisses, whispers in the ear about what will be done later. These things need to happen in a non-demand manner, meaning they don’t lead to intercourse right there on the spot” says Engler.
Keeping the spark alive doesn’t necessarily mean setting aside 20 minutes per day to get it in, it means being sweet and loving with each other as a means of conscious practice.
If you or your partner feel like anytime one of you is being flirtations it needs to lead to sleeping together, have a conversation about your insecurities. Intimacy is great, but your relationship should have room for flirtations that doesn’t always lead to getting n*ked.
3. Unrealistic expectations
The biggest culprit to s*xual dissatisfaction in those first few months after marriage is giving in to unrealistic expectations of what your s*x life should be like.
If you think that just because you have a ring on your finger you’re going to suddenly have intercourse in 90 new positions a week, against every surface on planet earth, you’re going to wind up disappointed.
Whether it be a difference in libido or trouble with lubrication, getting married is not going to fix everything. It’s wonderful that you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, but marriage takes work. Be ready to do that work if you want to improve your life between the sheets.
Just remember that the amount of lovemaking you do isn’t what’s important, it’s about what makes you and your partner happy.
For your daily dose of tech, lifestyle and trending content, make sure to follow Plat4om on Twitter @Plat4omLive, on Instagram @Plat4om, on LinkedIn at Plat4om, and on Facebook at Plat4om. You can also email us at info@plat4om.com. Finally, don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel HERE.