Most people want to remain in one good relationship for the rest of their lives. That kind of love that has you feeling like there are butterflies in your tummy. The one where you two are friends and still lovers. You fight and makeup, and you don’t ever want to break up. That kind where the s*x is great, but the emotional intimacy is greater. For this category of people, failing in a relationship is not an option.
Unfortunately, a lot of relationships fail for many reasons, however hard both or one party tries. The root cause of such an outcome is not one sole reason, but there are a number of them. There are a lot of factors that align to cause a failed relationship. However, there are also a number of reasons a relationship has a higher possibility of lasting.
You need to realise that a failed relationship is not a sign to give up trying. Basically, you need to establish the things that could help make yours better. If you don’t believe in these, then yours may fail. Therefore, you need these principles and criteria of what makes a long lasting relationship.
(DISCLAIMER: Note the word “may”. These are our best criteria, not the only criteria for your relationship lasting long. But we wish you the very best in yours.)
Best criteria for a long lasting relationship
Believing these five things will help your relationship last longer.
1. Conditional love
Love isn’t unconditional, and it’s a choice. You choose to give yourself to someone, and that choice shouldn’t be trampled upon. If you’re in an abusive relationship, you have a choice to step out and move on. This is no ‘ride or die’ situation if you’re actually at risk of dying. Be aware that your love is a choice. You choose to love and, when it’s hard, you can take your love back.
2. Believe change is constant
You need to realise that change is constant and the person you love would change. It might not happen immediately, but you shouldn’t hope that the person will remain the same. The change could be physical, the character or even sexually. Same goes for when you decide to remain the same forever and to keep doing ‘everything’ the way you used to. It becomes boring and unadventurous to be with that kind of person. Don’t be the ‘don’t try to change me’ partner. Be the one who is willing to grow and do things differently every now and then.
3. Realise no relationship is perfect
If you think you just jump on the wagon and have a good ride till ‘death does you part’, then think again. Relationships are a work in progress. It’s a process similar to a ‘live’, ‘love’ and ‘learn’ journey. If you think it’s perfect the moment you start one, then you won’t prepare yourself for the worst. There will be mistakes and conflicts, some reasons you would want to throw in the towel. However, enter into one with the realisation that anything could go wrong and you’re willing to survive whatever it is. Don’t start a relationship ignoring what is inevitable. Perfection is desirable but not attainable where relationships are concerned. You can redefine what perfection is to you (with all the possible flops), then it could be perfect to you.
4. Just go with the flow
Your relationship could be all upbeat one minute and then you’re arguing the next. It can seem like a Ferris wheel ride at some point, but you just need to stop. Stop questioning everything that happens. Stop waiting for the good times and expecting the worst. Just go with the flow. You know that bad times will come eventually. So rather than enter into a relationship with the mindset that it’s going to be hard, just go with the flow. Be open-minded.
5. Remember to have fun
Now that you’re open-minded, you can have the time of your life. If you downplay your relationship from the onset, with all arguments and nothing else, then it may fail. Relationships are fun and should be — that’s where the ‘friend’ part comes in. Of course, you’ll have your little arguments, but it only means the makeup will be more thrilling.