Maybe learning German insults isn’t up in your bucket list, but you should add it. Everyone else is — now, that’s a lie, and we admit it. But why not start a trend, or just simply be the smartypants among your group of friends? No one would be the wiser if you don’t pronounce them right. Go with the flow and enjoy the ride.
One amusing fact about German idioms is that they are full of quirky references to popular German foods like sausages, bread rolls and mustard. This makes the German insults easier to remember, especially with a rumbling tummy. So, we will merge the insults with the idioms to make this an even more pleasant learning experience.
Have a blast with these 15 amusing German insults now!
15 amusing German insults you need to learn before the world ends
Learning German isn’t a piece of cake. With the long words and consonants, you’d get yourself cracking up just by pronouncing each word. Here are the funniest German insults you should know before the world ends (drum-rolls).
1. Arschgeige – ‘Idiot’
Also translating to ‘a**hole’ or ‘a*s violin’, this insult doesn’t need much explaining. It means someone who doesn’t perform a particular task very well.
2. Zimtzicke – ‘Cinnamon goat’
Now this is a weird one. It sounds meaner when you use the German word and way nicer when you use English. In actual fact, it means ‘dimwit’ and is reserved for particularly insulting moments. It’s equivalent to calling someone a ‘b**ch’ in English.
3. Bananenbieger – ‘Banana bender’
This is someone who’s engaged in a pointless task, who can’t concentrate, or has no direction in life.
4. Lustmolch – ‘Pleasure newt’
This word is used for someone who is s*x-crazed.
5. Erbsenzähler – ‘Pea counter’
A nitpicker who obsesses over the little details. Similarly, you can call an overly pedantic person who always plays by the rules
6. Arsch Mit Ohren –’ Butts with ears’
Simply, a complete idiot.
7. Hosenscheisser – ‘Trouser-poopers’
These are cowards.
Backpfeife is a slap across the cheek, and gesicht is face. Put them together and you get “a face that invites a slap.”
9. Blockflötengesicht – ‘Recorder face’
It refers to a person’s two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, and mouth. Basically, it means an idiot, or someone given to meaningless talk.
10. Weichei – ‘Soft eggs’
A weak or wimpy person.
11. Evolutionsbremse – ‘Evolutionary brake’
This is an unintelligent person whose very existence on Earth hinders the advancement of the human species, so to speak.
12. Schweinehund – ‘Pig dog’
Someone who behaves crassly (typically a man) can be called a “pig” or a “dog.” German combines both to mean “pig dog.”
13. Trantüte – ‘Bag of whale blubber’
Here’s one for your morning commute: You can call the slowpoke in front of you a trantüte.
14. Gehirnverweigerer – ‘Brain denier’
Someone who doesn’t use their noggin often
15. Teletubbyzurückwinker – ‘Someone who waves back at Teletubbies’
Need we say it? This person is not so bright.
So, what’s it going to be? Trantüte or Evolutionsbremse?